Legolas
Copyright 2002 by Mary Crowell
Dedicated to Blair Holley and her crush
One of my piano students used her fixation on Orlando Bloom and the Fellowship of the Ring to explain her lack of practice during a two week period. “Miss Mary, I’ve got a thing for an elf!”
I like to watch him on the silver screen.
‘Built like I like ‘em, he is long and lean.
Yes, he is, And I am his.
‘Gotta thing for an elf, can’t help myself,
O Legolas!
He’s not a talker, likes to use his bow
To good advantage on his orcish foe.
Yes he does,
And I’m in lust.
I just love pointy-ears, don’t care who hears me,
Legolas!
INTERLUDE
The Ring is s’posed to find ‘em
And in the darkness bind ‘em.
I don’t wanna lie to you.
There’s just one precious thing
that is needing a fling.
It’s Legolas!
I’m just a’ sittin’ here all by myself.
I’m thinking naughty thoughts about this elf.
Yes, I am.
‘Don’t give a damn!
Gotta thing for this shy, tall, elven guy,
O Legolas!
There’s those who argue ‘bout the movie’s plot.
Because of time, the film left out a lot.
Bombadill
is not my thrill.
I’ll just sit here and stare at his long blond hair,
O Legolas!
INTERLUDE
This girl I know likes Strider,
And no. I won’t deride her.
But she can have her Aragorn.
The return of the king, won’t inspire me to sing
Like Legolas!
I like to watch him on the silver screen.
‘Built like I like ‘em, he is long and lean.
Yes, he is,
And I am his.
‘Gotta thing for an elf, can’t help myself,
O Legolas!