Lyrics:
Captain of the Guard

© 2001 by Mary Crowell.
My husband and I love to talk about archetypal characters we see again and again
in fantasy literature. The Captain of the Guard, the Champion, is one that comes
up in conversation again and again. He is always an unsurpassed warrior with a
weakness for the ladies (or a lady), but he has noble intentions. And he dies young.

VERSE
I said to my son “Now, honey, tell me,
When you grow up, what will you be?”
He said, “Mother, dear, it’s your greatest fear.
I’m gonna be the King’s best friend.”

“Every day since I was a tot,
I wanted to be Sir Lancelot.
Oh! What a life! He’s got a beautiful wife.
I wanna be the King’s best friend.”

CHORUS
“‘Cause the captain of the guard gets all of the gals,
Stays up late having drinks with his pals.
There’s a short life span for the King’s best man,
But while I live I’ll be the captain of the guard.”

VERSE
I said to my son, “Now, tell me sweet,
Is there some other way that your family can eat?”
“Can’t think of one that is half as much fun
I’d like to be the King’s best friend.”

“Life’s too short, and it’s not fair,
but the captain of the guard gets more than his share.
He’s the best sword of his wandering lord.
It’s good to be the King’s best friend.”

CHORUS
“‘Cause the captain of the guard lives a beautiful dream.
Most get the dregs while he’s skimming the Cream.
There’s a short life span for the King’s best man,
But while I live I’ll be the captain of the guard.”

VERSE
I said to my son, “Now what of intrigue?
You’re a sharp man, but you’re not in the league
of the Grand Vizier.” “Now Mother, see here!
I’m gonna be the king’s best friend.”

“In a world that’s rife with strife
the King will trust in me with his life.
He’ll never believe that I’m the type to deceive.
I can’t. I’m the King’s best friend.

CHORUS
“‘Cause the captain of the guard can never be bought.
That weakness for the ladies is a trifling fault.
There’s a short life span for the King’s best man,
But while I live I’ll be the captain of the guard.”

VERSE
I said to my son, “Love, don’t be a tool
For those who’d use your vice to play the King for a fool.”
He said, “Mother, I’ll try, but I’m not gonna lie.
I’m s’posed to be the King’s best friend.”

“I can’t fight that siren’s song,
But my love for her cannot be wrong
My liege may lock me away; my love I’ll never betray
It’s hard to be the King’s best friend.”

CHORUS
“‘Cause the captain of the guard is a sensual soul
But defending Truth and Honor is his primary goal.
There’s a short life span for the King’s best man,
But while I live I’ll be the captain of the guard.”

VERSE
I said to my son, “There’s Evil to hound.
There’s Card’nal Richlieus scheming and Iagos abound.”
He said, “Mother, I’ know, and to fight them I go.
I need to be the King’s best friend.”

“Swords will cross, and I may die.
When I do the ladies will cry.
And on that dark day, I know just what they’ll say,
They’ll say he was the King’s best friend.”

CHORUS
“Cause the captain of the guard is an honorable knight.
Even when wrong, he’ll do the thing that is right.
There’s a short life span for the King’s best man,
But while I live I’ll be the captain of the guard.”