Lyrics:
The Opportunity Tango

© 2000 by Mary Crowell.
Revised by Mary Crowell 2007.

There's a new edition called D&D 3E
That has a concept confusing me.
Sometimes when combatants let their shields and guards down
They suffer attacks of opportunity.
They suffer attacks of opportun-i-ty.

You threaten a space of about five feet.
Usually, that's any direction.
Weapons with reach are such a fine treat.
Many hold their spear with affection.

Cast a spell, and you risk your neck
Unless you make your concentration check.
Drink a potion, or read a scroll,
And shoot far away from a grassy knoll.

That new edition called D&D 3E
Has another concept that mystifies me.
Moving through spaces threatened by your enemies
Provokes attacks of opportunity,
Provokes attacks of opportun-i-ty.

To move, attack, and escape unhacked
Three feats you'd better consider:
Dodge, mobility, spring attack,
Or Brother! You're gonna be bitter!

Another thing if you move and kill,
Consider taking the tumble skill.
When you're fleeing it saves you woe
If you lack the HP to go toe to toe.

That new edition called D&D 3E
Has other rules perplexing me
Sometimes when combatants wanna try to be cute
These feats let them have the opportunity
To avoid attacks of opportun-i-ty.

Disarm the swordsman, or punch like Bruce,
Sunder, or bull rush or trip 'em!
Grapple, or pin, or maybe seduce.
It's all in the way that you grip 'em.

In that new edition of D&D 3E
An AOO per round seems fair to me.
I always travel with my own friends
Who get their own opportunities
To make attacks of opportun-i-ty.

Get more advantage from AOO's.
Take a feat called combat reflexes.
Only one blow on each of your foes
How many? 'Depends what your dex is.

Seems complicated, but we're almost done.
You may walk away, but you never want to run.
Only pick things up when you're safe from attack.
You can draw your weapon, but don't put it back.

That new edition called D&D 3E
Revised itself to bewilder me.
Three point five keeps the AOO's alive
So you get your golden opportunity
To make attacks of opportun-i-ty.